I've Been Shoe Hunting, and I Still Haven't Tagged Any

The days are growing shorter, a nip is in the morning air, and the hunt is on. Like the men who are starting to dream of the six-point deer they will defeat come November, I too will hunt. Shoes are a wily prey. They seek safety in the company of dozens if not hundreds of other pairs of shoes. They warn each other of approaching hunters, and dive deeper into their boxes or their online skid numbers. How they can tell anyone is coming is a mystery, since they lack noses. But they do. Man may hunt for food, but woman hunts for shoes (and clothes). Men have it easy. They can use guns. They can hunt in pairs or in groups to help each other fill their tags. They are allowed to go without distractions such as shaving or showering – even for days at a time – until at last success strikes. But woman tracks a wilier, trickier quarry. The men may pair up, but here it is the shoes that pair up to make her look silly for thinking she could outwit her opponent. The men do not have to worry too much about what size or color their quarry is – just about any size will do although larger is better. And the deer's coat is not the primary deciding factor in whether to shoot or let that one go Women let pair after go until they feel that they have the right one. I mean the right pair. The pair that will make her look and walk like a queen in her court. The pair that will match that suit or shirt just right, in a color that brings out one's eyes – no matter that the shoes are as far from the eyes as they can be without running for the safety of a closet. No matter that the average man will not notice the shoes on the average woman's feet even if she steps on his toes. Men do not understand why women will have dozens of pairs of shoes in her closet. It is all right for men to capture just one deer in a given year. It is all right for men if they only capture one trophy-worthy buck in their lifetimes. But women who are so seldom validated for their skills in anything, whether at work or at home, the shoes in their closet represent so much more than mere footwear. They are TROPHIES.

Another Sign of Inflation: Package Shrinkage Hits Dollar Stores

A recent visit to my friendly neighborhood dollar store, one of the Dollar Tree chain, left me with an alarming sign of yet more inflation in our grocery stores. While I only nailed three items that had clearly shrunk their packaging, it was enough to make more vigilant about size changes.

The first item was an ordinary family pack of white table napkins. My prior purchase of Soft & Silky single-ply napkins held 180. The new pack holds 160. Readers may say, big hairy deal, this is only 20 napkins less. But this is a reduction of 12 percent.

The other item was Awesome Oxygen, the laundry detergent enhancer and stain remover. The old plastic tub held 16 ounces; the new tub held only 12 ounces. To put it another way, the package has shrunk by a whole 25 percent.

A third item is the multi-pack of chewing gum. No matter what the Wrigley brand -- Spearmint or Juicy Fruit or Extra -- where the strip once held five 5-stick packages of gum, they now hold just four packages. In other words, the multi-pack has shrunk from 25 total sticks to 20 sticks. This is a shrinkage of 20 percent.

The first time I purchased a four-unit package, nearly a month ago, I failed to recognize the shrinkage. I just scratched my head thinking I had already absentmindedly used a pack. But about a week ago when I bought a couple more packs, I made sure to notice how many were really in there. Wow, snookered again by the product-shrinking gremlin.

Conversation with the store manager produced nothing but a disavowal of any control over package sizing. I did not expect much from the manager, other than an apology for any inconvenience.

All of us on the receiving end of corporate decisions always feel so helpless to do anything other than cough up the price increases and package shrinkages. One can always stock up on other brands or older packages to cushion oneself against the inevitable for as long as possible. With luck, one can even get through the winter without actually shelling out for higher prices/smaller packages.

This brings up the true story of the coffee maven, from the book Tipping Point. This person was a bit of a fanatic about following coffee prices. He noticed a news item that Brazil had suffered a severe frost in the coffee-farming regions (this was several years ago). He figured that it was a matter of time before price increases would hit the consumer market, so he began buying up coffee on sales, with coupons, etc. at ridiculously low prices. He probably wound up with a year’s supply while other consumers where bellyaching about the sudden price surge.
In a similar way, shoppers might be able to find larger packs still on the shelves at smaller stores where inventory does not turn over as quickly. The dollar store may still have a better deal than the drugstore, grocery, or hardware store, so make a careful note of sizes and whether the product actually does the job for you.

Good luck.